Happy 2008

Feliz 2008.

Wherever you are, I hope the year is starting well for you.

For me, it's starting with 2 sick days from work. Taking a sick day when I'm not really sick sure would be nice. Especially if I had nothing to do. I could just watch a few movies on tv, maybe a bad soap opera or two. I could find out just how many times Victor Newman has been married on Young and the Restless. I haven't watched the show in years. Telenovelas are so much better in that at least they end every couple years, so the characters don't have to get married and divorced quite as many times over the course of the show.

I could check out what good advice Oprah and Dr. Phil have for me. In Latin America, the trashy daytime talkshow is Laura



Think Gerry Springer, but in Spanish. There's always yelling and beeping out words and in a show at least one guest has to attempt to beat up another one.

But no... no trashy tv for me. I actually am sick, so in between coughing and blowing my nose I'm not doing much. I do have some freelance work to finish, but I'm a bit drowsy to do much of that, either.

And since my brain isn't working too well, I have no deep thoughts to begin this new year.

Instead, I leave you with something I ripped off from the Guatemalan tourist magazine in Xela, called Xelawho.

Enjoy!

You Might Be A Guatemalan If...
You tan easily. Your salsa dancing skills are impeccable. You have an inexplicable affinity for black beans. As you may already have suspected, it’s possible that you are Guatemalan. While no known cure exists, early detection is key. With that in mind, the following are the top ten symptoms....


1. The only safety devices on your car are a horn and a “Dios Me Guia” sticker.

2. You’re 34 and still live with your mother, who still lives with her mother, who still lives with her mother.

3. You’d rather decline a sale than make change for a Q100 note.

4. You use the classic Guatemalan 5-0-0 (5 forwards, zero midfielders, zero defenders) alignment in your papifutbol matches.

5. You drive a low-rider. Not because you’re into the whole early ‘90s L.A. style, but because 15 of your friends are riding in the back.

6. Your national tree is sponsored by Gallo.

7. Your kid’s lemonade stand has an armed guard with a shotgun outside of it.

8. You reserve firecrackers for special events, such as birthdays, Mother’s Day, when your half cousins twice removed graduate from colegio, that time you found a good parking space, etc.

9. Like an ant, you can carry twice your body weight without breaking a sweat. We’re assuming ants don’t sweat. But who really knows?

10. In lieu of a period, you end every sentence with the word “serote.”

On a more creative day, I could add to that list. Anyone else?